12 Things Every Woman Should Remember When Dating

(Happy FTW | Forbidden Topic Wednesday!)

 

1. It should be entirely too much fun and nothing less.

But really, if you’re not having the time of your life with him now, imagine how it will be when your first disagreement or life crisis hits (yikes). Let go of the calculated first impressions, be yourself and have a blast.

2. Trust your initial instinct. NOT second or third,  but very FIRST.

A man once told me, if every woman were in touch with her intuition and trusted what her intuition told her, a lot of guys like him wouldn’t be able to sneak past the radar and seize the one thing he has come to conquer.

If something feels off but you can’t quite put your finger on it, keep your distance until you can put your finger on it. Depending on the situation, you may not want to ever put your finger on it. Trust yourself and trust your intuition, even if this means taking your time. A full man, unlike his cousin the grown boy, will appreciate you taking your time and will appreciate you being selective. .

3. Dont fold…be true to who you are. 

Be. YourSELF.

You suck a cooking, you’re not the best with words, you don’t believe in  jedi knights and you secretly despise most  Fast and the Furious action scenes.

Should you make an extra effort to look nice when you see him? Of course. But, the worse thing you can attempt to be is someone else; genuine people see right through the act.

Often times, what the wrong man will see as an annusance, the right one will appreciate. You’re not perfect and neither is he, but when you’re able to find the beauty in each other’s imperfections and grow seperately… then you’ve found your match.

4. It is ok to be courted

“Chivalry: It’s the little boy that kisses my hand, the young man who holds the door open for me, and the old man who tips his hat to me. None of it is a reflection of me, but a reflection of them.” | Donna Lynn Hope

Women of today are often pressured to choose between being an independent and being treated like a lady. Here’s the thing, YOU DONT HAVE TO CHOOSE. At the end of the day, a woman should ALWAYS be treated like a lady and a man will always want to treat her as such.

All doors should be opened, tabs picked up (even if it’s the $5 menu at Wendys or $2 at the local ice cream parlor), and respect should be given. These are the basics my dear. And quite frankly, according to the guys I’ve interviewed, this is your opportunity to set the tone for the remainder of the relationship. Not only that, but it shows you early on what’s truly valuable to him. Does the obsession with money and “fairness” take precedence over moments and time spent with great people?

5. Dont be hasty when making your final selection.

“You’ll meet many well dressed, charming, awfully sweet (but not for you) princes before you meet your king.” | MDonyel

So, the first, second and third dates were all amazing. So amazing that you’re ready to be exclusive. Dont jump too soon. Understand, this is the stage where many are only showing you their representative, and not their complete selves. Take your time because even if he is, “The One,” these moments are ones that will not get back. Why spend  time rushing into the next stage when you can slowly dance into it? Appreciate him and your time together…simply enjoy it and the selectional will come naturally.

6. Your first date should take place long before your first official date

Know a bit about who you’re spending your time with before you spend time with him. Social Security Numbers and license plates are always useful. However, if you cannot  get that information from the first conversation, a last name, acknowledgment that he is in fact single and views on specific topics will come in handy.

Keep in mind that every offer does not call for you to accept. Dating requires time and energy, two of our most very precious resources.  Be sure that you’re spending your time and energy with a guy that you at the very least enjoy being around. Sanity > Free Meal.

7. It’s ok to keep your options open.

Sometimes women fear that their man is seeing other women, but you can see other men. It doesn’t mean that you don’t really care about your potentially perfect guy; it just means that you’re keeping your options open. – The Dating Truth

Yes,  you are getting to know a potential future spouse, but more importantly you’re getting to know a potential  friend and possibly best friend. This person has entered your life for a reason. The reason may be to prepare each other for something (or someone) else. Even if it doesn’t work out relationship wise, there’s no love lost. Dont see this as anything more than building a great friendship. If it’s meant to grow into more, it naturally will. SO in the mean time, keep those options open.

If you’re being pressured into a title or obligation, drop it…you are not a wife and you have nothing to prove.  On the other hand, you also shouldn’t place obligations and titles on someone that is not your husband.

Until you have both made that premarital agreement,  it’s quite ok to keep your options open.

8. Be up front about your “non-negotiables” (and don’t be afraid to ask theirs)

You tell him that you’re interested in potentially serious relationships and he tells you he’s only interested in finding good company. But he’s tall,  handsome and just your type. You think, “maybe after spending time with me, he’ll change his mind.” Dont do it.

Choosing to be up front and honest about what you’re looking for, your non-negotiables and your values, is one sure and fast way to draw the line. It also saves a heck of a lot of time and energy for the both of you.

9. If you instantly begin thinking of the ways you change him, he’s not for you

Imagine the guy your dating has been plotting for months on ways to shape you into his perfect wife. This may work for a while…but no one can pretend to be someone else for long. Accept that this “almost perfect for you” guy is simply meant to be with someone else.

10. You two meeting is no time wasted and no love lost

(See above)

11. Enjoy it ALL. 

The good, the magical and even the not so good moments, for even those make for great stories to share with the girls.

 

12. Stay Polished

Expect the upmost respect, never allowing that crown to tip. Those that don’t get it do not need to stick around. Always maintain and protect your inner, polished queendom 🙂 Men have and will always respect you for it.

 

Overall… appreciate the guys you meet (kind or otherwise), accept all lessons learned and have the time of your life meeting new people. Dating is exclusively for the singles, so take advantage of this luxury before you’re forever tied down, my dear! Ensure that your dating life is focused on enjoying time spent and the memories made. Steer far (far) away from turning it into a race to the alter.

MaquitaDonyel
Author

Alexandria + Native | Arlington + Resident | Late Twenties | I Love = God + Mini + Simple Thrills + Art + Love + Humility

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